| Introduction-Mud Sling Edd
Chapter 1 Eds Will Roll
Chapter 2-Getting Better AquaintED
Chapter 4-We've Creat-ED a monster
Chapter 5-Fear And Loathing In Ed Vegas
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Now Playing-Knock Yerself Out-The Eds Mark Their Territory...
"If we're gonna buy Kevin out we have to do it soon, Eddy."
In the lighting panel where they stood was on a sort of balcony, protruding from the building, to which the den window was adjacent. They could look directly in, and didn’t like what they saw, especially Eddy. It was Kevin, Daisy n Travis laughing and heckling at the TV as they watched the classic gangster movie “Scarface”.
.
The bingo room on the other side of them lay in darkness and the light from the control deck bounced off the
brass of the roulettes seductively.
"I don't like this at all..." Said Edd as they watched Kevin, Daisy and Travis through the window. The hot air from Eddy’s nostrils condensated on the glass as he snarled. Edd shook his head in helplessness.
"Already he's dug his claws in, can't you see?"
"It was your idea to go partners with that square-headed
jerk in the first place, Brainiac!"
.
"Yes, I apologise for that." admitted Edd.
Eddy seethed as he watched Kevin pull
the old yawning-and-stretching-and-putting-arm-around-shoulders-of-girl
routine on Daisy...
“Pretty buttons! Pretty buttons!” Ed laughed, pushing every said pretty button he could find in the room. Unwittingly he pressed on and off the lights in the den, causing Daisy, Kevin and Travis to flinch in shock. Eddy laughed as Kevin knocked over his bowl of popcorn in shock.
“Ed, stop!” Edd pleaded, pulling him out of view when Daisy peeked out of the den window into the lighting panel.
Seeing no-one there...with one last suspicious frown she returned to her seat. The Eds sighed with relief.
"Man, he’s going down!" he spat through his teeth with envy as he spied Kevin and Daisy throwing popcorn at eachother and giggling.
" Look at him...what a floozy! Ain’t happy with flaunting
Nazz around for the past darn year as his
main squeeze and he moves in on mine!"
" She's not your main squeeze, Eddy!" Edd laughed.
" Details, details, sockhead! Pure matter of time!" Eddy smirked.
“Your maleness never ceases to amaze me...” Edd cringed.
"Hoo boy...dead man, 12-o-clock!" Eddy spat as he watched the hot-blooded Kevin making his move.
"What would we do with out your improbreaker machine, Double Dee?"
"Take a walk on the wild side?" asked Ed.
"Concentrate on blinking and breathing at the same time for me Ed, okay? Asked Eddy sarcastically. "Y’know Double D, I’d be watching my sauce if I were you.."
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Edd obliviously as they headed back down the stairs towards to function room.
"Y’know..." swaggered Eddy. "When the cat’s away the mouse likes to play, coppice?"
"You’re not referring to Melissa, I hope!" scolded Edd. "I’ll have you know she’s a very respectable
and dignified young lady, she’s hardly anywhere near as flirtatious as"-
"SHHH!!!" Eddy pulled Ed and Edd into the shadows as Melissa scurried past obliviously. A straining wheeze was heard as Rolf came crawling behind.
"Oh you’re so good to me, Rolf!" Melissa’s cooed.
He was hauling a burly case of roller-skates over to the booth where she would charge 25c to hire them out.
"My...you’re so athletic!" she gushed as he heaved it up onto the ramp.
"Rolf is feeling exuberant joy at assisting such a beautiful hard-boiled candy as yourself!" he purred, kissing her hand.
Edd boiled with a powerful jealousy as Melissa blushed.
"Can we buy Rolf out too?" he asked Eddy cynically.
"you got any squidheads handy?" Eddy snorted. They tiptoed out of the door.
Melissa noticed them and lifted her head up from the booth.
" Where are you going?" she asked, oblivious to Rolf heaving the trunk up.
"We won't be long, Mel!" Eddy crowed. "Got some business to round up."
“Aiee!! Black Jack Melissa-Girl!” Rolf shrieked in horror. “ It is the hair color of the Br-br-br-br-!! Your follicles are cursed!”
“Huh?” she asked.
“Psst!” Edd motioned to Melissa, and pointed to the rebel blue curls hanging from her hat.
“Oh!...heh! Thank you!” she mouthed back to him as she tucked it beck under her hat, Rolf palpitating in shock.
“What’s with Stretch? Ain’t he ever seen a blue rinse before?” Eddy snorted.
"Y’know Eddy..." Edd started as they headed for the garden which lead directly to the Cul-De-Sac through the wood past the fence. "My father once told me love is like a game of Battleship..." he said with a glimmer in his eye. " You make your co-ordination,,, you take your rival out once...and you take him out fast!" he hissed as they pushed through the brittle branches of the forest.
"What can I say, Sockhead?!? You had your chance to nab her and you blew it! Game over, boyo!" snorted Eddy.
"You can’t seriously blame her for playing the field a bit...even if it IS with Rolf, sheesh!" said Eddy with a look of confusion.
"yeah, just as YOU can’t seriously blame Daisy for laying reception to Kevin’s superficial advances, Eddy!"
Edd snapped. "Don’t you see through his cheap attempt to irritate you?!?"
Edd slid past a mossy tree trunk and scampered onto
the pavement. His house was up ahead. "First he cuts a chunk out of the casino for himself,,,
And now he’s muscling in on the girl who’s clearly won your affections....heaven help her.” Edd said aside with a laugh. “I’m lucky, compared.” he continued. “I’ve only got plain old Rolf, in the wrong place at the wrong time to deal with. You, my comrade..."
he put his hand on Eddy’s shoulder. " Are dealing with the nemesis."
Edd pulled out a dictaphone from his pocket.
"And that's not all. " Edd informed. "Here...listen to this..."
"Edd pressed play as Ed and Eddy huddled around. They focused as the recording muffle filled the air.
"Hey, Sarah!" Lee's voice crackled through the static. Eddy and Edd shirked.
"Wha-Lee? What's going o-"
"Shhh!listen!!" Edd waved with his hand.
"What do you want?" snapped Sarah on the tape. "I told you, no."
"Told her no, what?" Eddy asked.
" No more pie, please!" laughed Ed.
Eddy growled with irritation.
"Oh, that's right...you DID didn't you???" Lee sneered. Suddenly they heard a chaotic struggle and the fumbling of papers, as if it was a book or newspaper.
"Hey! Gimme that back! Gimme It!" Demanded Sarah, first with anger, but then pleading bitterly, as if she was about to cry.
The chorus-like laughter of theKankers swarmed through the dictaphone speaker, making the Eds shudder.
"Ooooh, look at this girls!" Marie's voice squarked.
Edd contorted with fright.
"Hmm...Sarah's diary!...let’s have a look-see shal we?" She taunted as frantic grabbing for said diary by Sarah could be heard simultaneously. "Lemme see..."
"Gimme that!" Lee ordered, snatching if off Marie.
"That's private! " Sarah warned.
"OOH , even better! he-a-haha-her-ha-her!!" The Kankers chimed hauntingly.
"Okay, where are we....oh yeah! I hate Melissa...ooh don't we all, babygirl...Hey!"
Lee complained as Marie snatched the diary back off her.
"yadda.,yadda,yadda, I wish she would just go back to wherever she came from so Double dee would be all mine again-fat chance, shrimp!" Marie hissed.
“Hey Marie, you’re being sly, just-”
“Shurrup May!” Lee and Marie snapped.
"So, the Kankers got ahold of Sarah's diary, big deal!" Eddy scoffed."Ain't nothing we haven't heard before!"
"No, there's more!" said Edd.
"Tell you what, Sarah..." Said Lee. "Since you're the future sister-in-law of our May here, and we gonna be spendin'
much of our Ed-lovin' lives around eachother...we'll go easy on ya. You just do as we asked... and you can have your diary back, crystal?"
"No way!" Sarah objected.
"Oh okay..." Lee said casually. " I guess the whole of Peach Creek'll soon be knowing about how you'd like
to rummage through Nazz' underwear closet!" Lee laughed.
"And stick drawing pins in Kevin's bike tyres!" Marie said scandalously.
"Yeah!” Lee bantered. “And drive slowly over Eddy with a steamroll-hey! that's my boyfriend you're talkin' about, tough stuff!" Lee said angrily.
"Oh no I ain't, ginger ninja!" Eddy spat as he listened.
"Okay, okay, I get the-"
"And hang Melissa from her neck by a tongue-tangler...ooh, my, I don't think Daisy'll be happy hearing tha!"
"Okay! Okay! I give up! Not that!" Sarah begged.
"I'll do it...I'll sabotage the show. I'll get you in...like you said." Sarah said with defeat. "And you'll...?" Lee said remindingly. Sarah sighed wearily.
" I'll make a show of Melissa...anyway I can."
The Eds gasped in unison.
" That ain't gonna be too hard!" Eddy snapped. "Calculating little"-
"attagirl...we'll keep hold of this for future reference, eh?" Lee said icily.
" Don't want you changing your mind...and remember Sarah..." Lee's voice got louder.
" If the hat fits..."
"RIP IT OFF ANYWAY!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!" The Kankers catawauled devilishly as their voices melted away. The tape clicked as it ended.
"Yes...Jimmy confided in me...they were at Sarah's neck all day yesterday..."
Edd said sadly. " I just had to ivestigate it.
"Man, so THAT'S why you spent like 2 HOURS in the bathroom cleaning up yesterday afternoon!"
"Yes um...unfortunately, important things usually come at a price...has that love bite gone down on my neck, Eddy?"
Edd asked, leaning towards him.
"Looks like a rash...it'll fade, Casanova!" Eddy cackled. "It's a wonder Melissa never noticed it!"
"Oh, touchwood!" Edd laughed as he rapped his knuckles on Ed's head.
"What's this gotta do with Kevin, though?" asked Eddy as they headed towards garage.
"At this point, I'm not sure...but the Kankers and Kevin...not good! definitely not good at all!"
"We'll cross that bridge when we strut to it, baby!" Eddy swaggered.
" You DO know it's Melissa and Daisy your brother was talking about in the letter, don't you?"
"huh?" Eddy asked. "when...?"
"Eddy!" Edd slapped his own forehead wearily. "Melissa's dad is your brother's business partner!"
"Oh man, of course!" Eddy stamped his foot and clicked his finger as he realised.
" How could I be so dumb?!?...don't answer that!" He put his hand on Ed's mouth just
as he was about to make a suggestion.
"That's Grade-A Ed-Boy merchandise, guys! Let’s go mark our territory, Double D!" he said with venom.
"Mom says I’m not allowed!" complained Ed.
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